• Leesa

    Hello Colleen,
    What a Beautiful Magnificent quote. I am so Blessed to have learned and grown to accept Christ as my Savior and King and know what this means from so deeply within my HOly Spirit.
    I thank you for this wisdom .
    I am sorry that you have had another surgery, I am going to be praying for you with this recovery/healing. I am concerned for you, this is multiple surgeries you have had. I will pray that you are in His arms for the rest and recovery needed,and that He provides the best hands of genuine Loving care that are maybe in rehab or those that nursing care of you outside your loving famlly for the most miraculous path to healing that surprises even these medical persons. May you feel better soon Colleen! Well warmest wishes your way!
    I will continue to pray also for all those in Houston, and as I am thankful that you are further north ,I am going to continue pray for you and your family as your husband is out there with rescue and providing what is needed in places that have had this devastation to home and business, and community. I truly wish I was ready or in some capacity to serve in the ways that I am hearing through my radio station, His Radio, those that truly can give of themselves and monies to help. I do feel a bit helpless in this way and saddens me. I give a small amount that I am able and pray how God will allow this, I will follow.
    I was happy to hear from you.Your kindness always makes me day, and your sharing genuine loving care with your wishes for me to remember how I am treasured! It is the moment that this was what I needed to hear. I am always so Thankful for your timing as God works through you, you knew exactly what to say.. Thank you for your encouragement and genuine caring support,and wishes of loving care for me always. I am growing so fast these days. Spiritually aware of so much more than just a week ago, a day ago. It is seemingly that our world is changing as quickly. Thank you for the scripture to support what I am seeing, hearing, observing to know these truths that are ancient wisdom and knowledge. I had spoken to my Pastor also. He was very supportive and I have placed my name of an apologetics free class and another that I pay for workbook that is”Read the BIble for LIfe” and as well the Pastor said he would love to have me in the Outreach training and we visit in groups those members who have not been to Church in long while and also those that have visited us and would like our visit, as well as shut ins, those ill or with disease that unable to attend Church.
    I feel really BLessed to be increasing the persons around me that truly have the greatest Love for Jesus Christ and want to self reflect and act as you said with “intention” imitation of Christ.
    I need work within on the area that I still feel the tug to look at car magnets, one in particular that is in my face images after seeing a day ago, it is an image ofChrist with blood and says this blood is for you. ANd another “humankind” and “God Bless our Nation under God”. Please pray for my peace in this area that is new for me to want to defend our Lord, and to find the peace and enlightenment that Jesus displays for us. Maybe it is ok to display this on my car? and it is that I am not to fear the persecution as scripture says this, I believe it is”what is my intention” is key in my thought. to act in this way, and that is where I would need prayer, so I will sit and continue pray,and listen what the answer will be.
    I wanted to share too that I practiced what I believe is a healthy boundary. A gal I met at Church wanted to pick up a friendship with me at a very fast pace andsomething within me was sensing troubles at home, or that she was wanting to replace me with her grieving of son off to college and married. It just felt something that she was maybe escaping,and wanting to fill a void. I was loving and gracious, hugs and having so much of the holistic certification class, travel to family again,and Church and the Trauma program,and those relationships that I have formed with you, my neighbor, and family members that evolving with me, that I honestly had not the energy to expand right now. The trauma program alone is pretty intense for me, and requires a lot of energy to grow through. I will be beginning a support group and art therapy group that is designed along side the therapy of counseling, so able to bring into therapy what may come up that I am not able to express or touch in counseling/therapy conversation,or any other way, so this is huge for me. With this gal, she texted me after Church something to call her, so I began to call this other nite of Wed which is prayer nite at Church, and as driving home, I still sensed I needed to give this some time and knowing I could not fill her void and I was not able to give her what she is seeking in a “buddy” , well I felt I needed to return call to let her know I did receive her message and with that she texted me that she could not talk that her and her husband were fighting like cats and dogs. RIght there I knew this is what I already knew by my intuition . I responded that she really need Jesus Christ right now, that I knew there was something going on at home for her, and that I could not fill that friendship in the ways that she is seeking, although I can encourage her to seek the Lord as He needs to be her best friend right now and she will find wha tshe needs with Him, and I encouraged her to reach out to consult with our Pastor who is really wonderful and brilliant, and he will be able to address these marital issues she and her husband are having fin the only way that will help her through the Lord, and with the closest relationship to Christ, so through ministry of speaking with Pastor and his help to arrange what is necessary for her and then her and her husband is essential. I had not heard from her. I realize it probably hurts to hear but her being directed to the Lord will be the greatest of gifts in long term care of her and her and husband marriage. It is theirs to come to the Lord and act in the ways He has designed for such a marriage and friendship. This quote you have shared speaks volumes when the storm is strong,and I wish often I knew this foundation so much earlier, yet I feel amazingly BLessed and fortunate to have grown by His Loving Grace and His calling me to my close relationship with HIm, and now bringing me to know and live by action through the scripture he is leading me to and surround me with. I am grateful I listened and followed Him and His molding of me completely surrendering because I do not know how I could live without .In my life now I live committed especially with my baptism to act in obedience for His word and action I will not waiver, even to those that hate me, as we talked in past if only the evil knew it will bring us to run even closer to our LORD and SAVIOR!!! so I pray this gal to find the same foundation, and to live out in action for His glory in all ways ,.,.I will continue encourage her approach the Pastor if anything more comes up in this way. If there is more that God calls me to do, I am completely open to hear, He will lead me to the answers as I encounter new friends and acquantices through Church ,and outside of Church. . I patiently listen and will be accepting and loving as I am with all members.in respectful way and those I meeting outside of Church the same.
    Stay safe and dry by you and your fellow communities of the people of Texas that are in flooded areas I will continue pray.
    WIth loving care
    Leesa

    • Leesa,
      I am amazed at how you handled this potential friendship. Trauma work takes an incredible amount of emotional energy having done my own and now caring for someone who is doing it near me. I believe the first major sign of internal growth surfaces when we begin to set boundaries. When we know what we can and cannot do, that is wisdom in action. I am so proud for you in this, that you put your healing and continued growth, your study of scripture in classes, and your current relationships of primary importance. You are right, God is where she needs to land and God knows what she needs. He may lead her to others but this is not for you to take on. Way to go!
      Yes, another surgery….but I had been in so much pain since January, 2017 and we couldn’t figure out the cause. I had a full hysterectomy 2 months ago, then back to the ER with an internal tear. I really hate it when my body doesn’t work as I would like; I’m not a good patient which my doctor’s figure out quite fast. I know in my head that healing time is vital; in my heart I want to press through and get things done. I thoroughly welcome your prayers; thank you so much.
      Leesa, you are on such a fantastic path; the classes sound fantastic, the church sounds wonderful, and clearly God has you in his hands. Have a wonderful weekend. Colleen

      • Leesa

        Colleen.
        Thank you for your great encouragement and genuine care and support what i bring to you
        I am so sorry for all these surgeries that take so much time to heal. God has a way of letting us know to rest when we want to move on sooner than we are recovered. It interesting my way was always pushing myself beyond what emotional healing I have needed. And this circumstance for your surgeries and needing rest have been more physical and need set out a bit for this healing. So glad they located the rear. Is it not incredible how you knew there was something not so right and intuition we speak of , just knowing ourselves so well. I am glad that is now on the mend. Yes I absolutely will be praying for your healing with this.
        I am grateful to be able share with you what doors God has opened and how I building my endurance and energy in all these ways to eventually come to a better balance.
        Thank you so much for supportive and kind thoughts and cheering my use of boundaries. That which I have learned also I need listen to for there are limits of what I can do with my building this new life and finishing the residual healing that has been with me for a lifetime time let go. I look forward to sharing more of all courses programs and Church classes. Right now Church is the safest place where there seems to be the greatest reflection of me in all others there. That tender respectful and sensitive nature that just wants love God and love each other. It is exciting to see where God is leading me there and what more He will be preparing me for there and with regard to serving for His glory in His timing knowing me the best
        Thank you so much again for greatest encouragement ,insight ,seeing my growth and my journey with greatest of compassion and greatest excitement for me . It means so much to me truly.
        Take care Colleen.have a really good restful weekend It funny you probably one of the drs favorite patients in your being so kind and eager heal , to want push on. All a balance and I know that you will find this in your healing Sending smiling faces to all those tender tissues needing to mend !as I know you are anxious to be back to full speed.
        I will be keeping you in my prayers
        With loving care. Take good care
        Leesa

  • Leesa

    Hello Colleen,
    I have been to Church today and love listening to our Pastor sermons, I resonate with his genuine honestly,and bringing His truth to us scripturally being his focus .He said in his seminary studies for his doctorate work that anything of “opinion” the instructor says it need be backed up by scripture if one brings forth any of personal opinion ever. Today the scripture of Eph 4:11-16 was the focus of sermon and he spoke how Jesus tells us what a great Church is all about,and through this scripture gave us details of its meaning,speaking a lot about the perspective of seeing big CHurches, and the physical appearances to the eye of some who see that as important ,and how the entertainment from one Church can be important part to some and if suddenly the next Church up the street has new or better entertainment then the member will leave and go there. That it is not the goal of this Church to focus on these things. The other scripture was of Matthew 16:18 , which is great scripture and how I so thought of you how you know scripture and can sight it with full understanding and how connecting from each book the same meaning,which in itself is so amazing as differnet authors yet the same meaning breathed into each author consistent and throughout the Bible. Your quote of wisdom seemed to fit into today sermon for me, this “solid faith” being only from a strong foundation built, in my case being built these past few years in ways I wish had a whole lot earlier in life and having now not sure how anyone can live without for when a strong storm does come….like a Church I want to build my holy Spirit exactly right as God designs in scripture. and my Pastor continued with Eph 4:16 how we as members allow Jesus to work in and through us to love each other as Christ does us.
    This was much of what was the “the new year” introduction for this fall being a new year for Church and school calendar. It was meaningful to be taking part of what are Church is, what really matters
    Sunday school we talked about Exodus 3:4-14 and 4:13-16 and it was a odd intuition morning for me, I just saw red flags everywhere with this gal who I mentioned my encouraging her to seek out the Pastor and mentioned I was not able to meet her at the level of friendship she was seeking with my validation of what she is seeking was today… I had walked into this class prior to Church and she switched sunday school classes to be in the one I am in. she seems to be wanting to be close to me. I did sense she is not listening to my boundaries that there are underlying issues in addition to her not having relationship with Jesus Christ that concern me. She has a dark demeaner that before I knew what I am learning of her, this is not someone I have an interest in being close with as a friend, just polar opposite of me. She came up to me interrupting a conversation I was having with someone else to give me a hug , I hugged her and then again afterward came up to me and she said I need a hug and hugged me again. At end of Church she said call her . It is not that I am better, but I sense it all about her,and that she wants what I have Spiritually,and wants to be close to it for her to receive.Part of me is glad she sees something different in me that she may not yet understand what that is of my soul, the other part sees red flags because she did not seem to have listened to what I said last week about not being able to give her what she needs, that she would need to have Jesus as her best friend and seek Pastoral help and counseling for her void within herself . I have been becoming more clear of the issues she presented to me being destructive and not of the uinderstanding of the Holy Spirit from what she has shared with me previously and today. Her actions are not consistent with being saved. I am polite and kind, yet I am not comfortable with how she is very stuck on being my friend when it is not mutual exchanges. It is the one person of all the Church who is dark demeaner, that is why I am asking and pointing to CHrist and asking is this like Moses from Exodus? is God placing her before me I do not yet understand, because if he does want to use me in some way, there are boundaries that I am picking up on that are not healthy in sense of whether codependent seeking antoher to take on what she living without the Holy spirit and,in her marriage where Satan has hold over and that being all she is able to see?not with intention to know much about me or hear my boundaries. there are many issues i see there that unhealed, and not a genuine relationship with CHrist, that of her aunt who is in Church ,and I sense she following her although not who she is yet in her own understanding of her identity and what that is in action of Holy Spirit. but I am not a counselor, and it reminds of the scripture for marriage when someone is needing to be of the “same yolk”, I am not seeing this a match of spiritual maturity or healing in a friendship to be of equal yolks. I sense it is something she believes she can take in from me, yet I have put work into for the cleanliness I long for. She I sense need to do the work more than seek a friend right now int he way she is doing so with me. It awkward ,I want to be what God wants of me,and I am not sure how or what that is with this person?
    Even through my process of dark season, I was the spirit of light and always commented routinely on my character being a beam of light when enter a room,and always smiling ,even when I was feeling at my worst truly. There may have been a sparkle dim when grieving but I was never dark. This is not someone I would want to be near as my friend. I think it would be different if there was not so much emotional baggage and if she were saved to understand ,it is more of a Pastor and counselor she needs to heal, and I am not either that can provide the way for her. I have guided her and I am uncertain she has listened. I will let you know if I hear the direction of our Lord as I do nothing unless I am perfectly clear He is using me here. I certainly do not want Him to want me to do something and I have misunderstood or have different understanding by what I see and hear from this gal,and not see what He wants me in this situation to do???
    I wanted to update as things as I said are moving so quickly through my growth,and Church being surrounded by what will further strengthen me scripturally that I can offer someone more in future, when someone so toxic though, my question to our Lord and I thought to bring to my Pastor also without use of names, just instance,for my question is going to be HOW if someone not saved and toxic and so many issues that they are not listening well,all about themselves more than knowing this in self reflection.
    I am curious what God is asking or showing me here?
    Have a really great Labor Day holiday. If I was local to Texas, I would have wanted to venture out somewhere where I can be of assistance. I had a thought too if I had my house together, I would invite people over from Church on a weekend like Labor Day, and maybe that gal too to show her more of a group dynamic of others who are saved ? not sure but if I did have my house together in repairs I did think It would be a nice change to be able have new friends over even sit on porch and tea .
    There is another gal at Church who is so kind and we talk more equally yolked,and it is refreshing to know her, and her husband I had always seen and talked with in my community because he a police officer and routinely is doing rounds with local businesses /in stores etc,and I just have always been friendly and he the same. so we all now see each other at Church. lol. it is pretty great exchanges we have as many others I do see my reflection and sense equally yolked,same Holy Spirit in actions,and want to please and glorify our Lord. THis one person just the only one different that I have not known yet what if I being asked something to be used? to help in some way ,but I am guessing I did encourage the right path and see if Jesus is to bring me to some other use?
    WIth loving care,
    Leesa

    • Leesa,
      I think you have to go with your gut on this one. If you are sensing there is a darkness or negative ‘air’ with this one woman, I would not pursue it. I believe the Lord continues to work in you and your growth is something the enemy hates. How delighted the enemy would be if you chose to be distracted or believed you were necessary to help every hurting person. God is far bigger than all of us and leads in ways we must follow. If you have a negative sense, I would trust that. If the Lord desires you to be in a friendship with this person, He will make it possible in the future. He can do anything; let’s trust Him to lead you. For now, it sounds like He is leading you to connect with your family, a few friends, and then to be with you; filing you with His truth as you continue to grow. I hope this makes sense…..I just think there is something to our ‘gut’ responses we must trust, knowing God is in full control and knows what He is doing. You are a sensitive soul; I would protect that place as God works in and through you from that place of sensitive care. Praying for you to have clarity today. Much love, Colleen