The choice—offered to every person—is to believe God and actively participate in whatever He allows, regardless of what we feel, experience, lose, gain, or see in our human, day-to-day lives.

  • So

    Hello Colleen, This seems like written for me today. I just let my tears flow for the few minutes they needed release my gut sadness. I did not get the prayer ministry volunteer work. I am grateful for the Lord’s protection that this was not where He wanted me, where I so wanted to give and pray for others I recall in gut not feeling fully comfortable with the training of encouraging or asking beyond the prayer call, if anyone had a personal relationship with Jesus and that if not and they wanted to say a salvation prayer. I remember thinking that goes beyond a boundary I was completely comfortable so maybe that was God speaking to me then to say that although I wanted wholeheartedly to contribute and to contribute in what I believed was serving Him, it may not have been what He wanted and something better ,more biblical will call to me and He will lead me to this.
    My friend from back where grew up said she had not said anything but it was not biblical to offer salvation to someone, and that she was praying that God guide me. She was happy it did not work out and said I will have something greater and better opening to me.
    My mom is home, she is remarkably high spirit and walking up stairs, a drain still in thigh but as far as all I understand all clear and was basal cell cancer removed completely from inner thigh.
    I will be leaving tomorrow.
    ALl will be okay.
    Thank you Colleen for speaking to the Prayer Ministry and being honest,as I respect and value of your character always. Again I apologize I had not spoken to you before listed your name, in my excitement I did step too fast and realize that I need a Church family to interact as well . Maybe that is where God will lead me and prayer at Church team. I will be looking at your suggestions you shared last week of where maybe God will lead me to be trained to help and encourage others through prayer . I know you want what is good and right and best for me and that I am grateful.
    Have a great day and weekend, I will be keeping connected
    Love and care,
    Sand

    • Sand,
      I’m so sorry about the prayer ministry position as I know you really wanted that. However, I didn’t feel super comfortable for some reason either so I agree that there is something else God has waiting for you. Plus, all the new time in healing with some of your family members will take time and refresh you in many ways, I believe. I also know that when I’ve really wanted something and God has closed the door on it, even if I never know why, He knows and is protecting and providing for exactly what I need because He loves and knows me. That is the same for you. Our Lord made you and loves you so much, He will guide your steps as you continue to follow Him. I’m so proud of you, Sand…you have come so, so far. I honestly never expected you to reconcile with your family because it seemed like such a hostile environment for you. However, God knew and has kept you on this path to bring you joy in these new relationships…just keep trusting and let’s see what other surprises He has in store for you. You are a treasure! Colleen

  • So

    Hello Dear Colleen,
    I do not know what to do at this moment and going to need to sit with all that is happening to gather my interests and goals. The individual director of the prayer ministry left another text and voicemail that she has very good news. I honestly am preparing to leave town and I would also love to be on your blog to read the PTSD and the devotional I saw on another part of website, but I need stay on course of time here and what I need to prepare garden and packing and car loading, and food etc, and I go to a Church ladies nite at 5 with the salon owner who colors my hair , she invited me go along with her. As I have been praying for a Church family I do hope that this is an experience to lead me to one.
    In meantime, I read text and it says this director of prayer ministry wrote that she and others of her team head a meeting with the president of the prayer line and she has very good news! I wrote briefly that I heard her excitement and that I would need get with her this afternoon, and told her the reason.
    I am also concerned for what my friend told me that it is not biblical to read a salvation prayer? I have no idea, I do know I was a little uncomfortable with the idea so now I am totally uncertain what God wants and will allow for me here with this volunteer prayer ministry?
    So for now I need keep moving to prepare leaving tomorrow, and I will need process and connect with God, what is he wanting for me, I cried earlier believeing I was not going to be able to volunteer,and then my friend speaking to me openly and honestly and steering me away from this idea and being happy I was not able, that she believed God took me a different direction, and now I have what I believe is to offer me the volunteer work of prayer ministry? I will keep you posted
    The inspection for house also was this morning by the termite co claim adjuster, so my attorney will be working closely and forward soon with the termite co.
    With Love and Care and Prayer,
    Sand

    • Sand,
      A couple things stand out in your note here.
      First, I don’t know what your friend was referencing re: it not being biblical to read the prayer of salvation. What was the context of this discussion as reading prayers through scripture is common. In fact, Jesus teaches us how to pray in Matthew and it’s repeated often. So, it would help to have a bit more info.
      Also, I’m anxious to hear what the adjuster and attorney’s are saying about the house now. FINALLY, you finally have someone you can go to-I’m so, so thrilled.
      I’m sorry for your disappointment yet I really believe God has led you so far that there is a fantastic plan in place for you. Just stay faithful as you have and our loving heavenly Father will guide and care for you, his precious child. Much love to you, Colleen

      • So

        Hello Colleen,
        I am still out of state, traveled from SC to Northeastern NJ , just under 13 hours I drove one week ago from yesterday. My mom remarkably was home from cancer tumor surgery, absolutely an Amazing Grace of God, I believe all power of prayer and Gods will He made her cancer as I asked non invasive, although a large area of tumor and flesh removed, it was a basal cell carcinoma, oddly inner thigh area. She has been told by surgeon to have a PET scan, which is surprising for a dr to ask as very difficult usually for dr to approve upon patient request, it is the best of scans and really the only one scan that supposed to show all clearly. Because she has two types now of a skin cancer, one was bumps on head five years ago called breast cancer metasticized, skin type cancer, and now this basal cell type cancer second type, dr wants to be sure no other cancer anywehre else. That scan may be after I return beginning JUne by time scheduled?
        I do want to say that I love your quote as all areas of my life I have been learning, as you know,to “Believe God and actively participate in whatever He allows”from your post above.THis is so my life I am living , Believe and trust in God completely and Love Him completely in His miraculous ways of working in our lives even if feels hard, to take His hand and know He with me in this completely ,and all with what it is He “allows” for me in my life.
        I love your quotes that you post. I have been approved to do prayer ministry volunteer work with prayer and help line, although I asked if can begin when I return home beginning June. The Director did say this is fine. I am interested in learning more, as you have asked more information will help you understand what my friend emphasized with me, that it is not Biblical to read the specific Salvation prayer, that she said it is up to God, which I agree as you know my calling from God, He led me ,no matter what anyone may have asked to prayer of salvation with me over my years, it was and always is God only who takes my hand in awareness of His presence, guidance and direction. My friend recommended I read Ephesians 2 and Romans 9. With my travel I have not yet had the time to read these. I am happy that you were able to give me any insight about this, and maybe this information will help with your insight on this subject. It is not general prayer for others or with others, it is regarding the specific “salvation prayer” if someone states he/she does not have a personal relationship or wanting a closer relationship with God, and then agrees to have me pray the salvation prayer. I would like to know your insight about this. I have in my heart and soul not yet accepted fully the prayer ministry volunteer work until I hear completely Gods hand in this, what is He speaking to me in His direction. I know the Driector and President approved my volunteering in a way God seemed to show me that I was accepted without Pastor reference which is a miracle, so I do have general sense it is His work for some reason to bring me to this Prayer and help line? what purpose, is to unfold? or is He creating this sequence of happenings for my greater understanding of His written word?
        In meantime I am awaiting update from when I left town and the house, after the termite co claim adjuster came out, he was definitely not in my interest there, as he took photos of things that were not part of what was to be his interest, so oddly he immediately took photos of the living room ceiling leak stains, and in rear of house had dropped too much “bug b gone” I use, (I dislike chemicals but no bugs when use a combination of things, I do not like bugs where I live in southern USA) This claim adjuster took a photo of where I dropped too much of the granules of this ,bag was too heavy and I dropped too much there in rear exterior of house? so not certain yet where my attorney is with this negotiation. Yes it is delightful to have found right on the line of statute of limitation my attorney, who acts tenderly with me, he and the entire office are tender with me, as if a reflection of me and I immediately relax in this office space when go there. It is for sure a God provided pathway. All where He led me and opened this door for me completely.
        THank you for being so Thrilled for me, as you have followed me with this for so long now. It is so toxic, I am praying for more to open to me as God will provide and remedy the mold is and has been my prayer along with the monies for repairs needed. I did post a “gofundme.com” page to seek donations/fundraiser for the mold remediation as the attorney did not include this , he is seeking strictly repairs for me, the mold is too much money the attorney would have to put out up front, and being contingency and mold too difficult to prove in court of law, he just did not take that part of my case. So I have not yet received donations. I being away have not been able yet to change my posting, more to the suggestions of “go fund me.com” guidance. I do not have facebook, and they say receive more when the actual need goes onto more social media. I am going to edit what I wrote and maybe literally post a photo of the white mold and decaying floor? and go fund me also recommends I pass on to others who have facebook. I have to say I am embarrassed but this is what is real and true for me in my life so I try to leave to God what this experience is ,is not to be ashamed or embarrassed, as maybe it will be supportive for another person who views to know he/she not alone when something like this happens. If you have any other thoughts I am open to hear and see . I included more than the mold remediation, I included some items not part of what my attorney seeking, like duct work and ac unit that contaminated by mold in air andcrawl space and insulation in attic and crawl space, and furniture and etc lost from mold odor and holistic health costs to keep me well in this space. I am going to be reading more of your thoughts and reply soon. I am so very happy for your honest and open communication with me in regards to what you were and were not comfortable, and I respect and value you and your work so very much, that I am sorry that I did not speak with you first and that may have created what discomfort could have been avoided for you if I had.
        I know all between us is good, and that all God presents is part of His bigger scope and plan and for some purpose beyond what we understand , so it was all as it was supposed to be surely. Thank you for your gracious character, and care for me and all I experience in my journey. I wish to tell you more of my visit, and I am going to come back to do so. So far it is as you say that which opens doors, all a continuous forgiveness process while here. For example, I went up a curb today and “rear” tire bumped up and down because I was pulling up to a dip in curb in case my mom wanted me to take her wheel chair out of trunk and later she showed my youngest brother’ front ‘tire hubcap and it was so scraped up ,deeper gauged scrapes that no way logically were from going up curb, and I knew it was rear tire up curb as the higher curb was behind the dip I drove up to, so at first I thought from emotion of sad and not believed, but after I spoke to my middle sister who told me my dad who passed away used to hit curbs and things with tire all time and he scraped up that hubcap and she told me it has happened with her too when driving parent in past and my mom in now, and that she cannot blame my dad so she turned it on me, whether part of her grieving ? more like what my new counselor had told me back home last week was that now that my dad not here those who used him as a target will look to the family member to pass this anger on to . I went to my mom later and just said I am sorry that she believes this was from me, but it is not true and that even logically going up the curb could not cause the gauged scratches that are all around that hubcap, and that it was also the rear wheel. I said it tenderly and genuinely from my heart and soul, no anger, just neutral heartfelt words,and then I let it go. ANother ex is my middle brother I spoke to you about, I had decided beneath his anger I know his core self is a genuine tender heart and soul, and although I have not visited him at his house this trip as I normally would spend more time by him, I am just showing my truth when see him,being as I always have loving to him and letting him know I have thought of him and keeping focus on positive and goodness happening in my life by expressing all is good by me, and for example going to take mom to a neice 5 yr old recital today, so as I protect myself I am staying true to who I am and forgiveness of his issues coming out during his grieving letting him know I am here if he ever wants to talk. As my counselor told me that let him know this and if he abusive or takes out anger, just let him know that I am here for him if he wants to talk but I will not accept him to talk to me in that way. I will expand on all this more this week.
        Thank you for your kind and remarkable insight and thoughts of me and my journey as it unfolds and what I believe blossoming, God opening doors with his guidance and direction for my learning to do what is hard in areas of forgiveness (that which feels challenging is where He will work most) and too my making every effort to please HIm and to be obedient, wanting to pray for all to glorify Him.
        I am hoping that too a prayer was answered that I have asked God for you Colleen, for knowing without a doubt what answer you were seeking regarding your health and the cause , have our Lord show you without a doubt what your health changes were from.
        Have a pleasant and restorative weekend of whole wellness, you , Jon and your family.
        With love and care,
        Sand