• So

    Hello dear Colleen, I miss so your warmth and love of God’s will that you radiate outward to all you touch. I will always remember you as the one Jesus led me to to strengthen me in His love, out of your very unconditional acceptance and loving care I grew to know what Love was and to accept Jesus Love came simultaneiously for me as I grew closer to Him with growth of TRUST in His work and divine intention for me of best for me. Learning and Growing I will always have held in my heart that you were the pivotal human presented by God to help me in His calling .
    I am concerned for you that I have not heard from you and whether you are well, and Jon and your family are well. and that your sorrow from a friend on hospice is comforted by Jesus Love that which onlyu Strengthens us as we know.
    I have so much I wish to share. God did deliver an answer to a prayer for an attorney by the statute of limitation date of April 25 and that was on contingency. So awaiting this beautiful tender care of attorney to think outside box to help me as he was able and that was most beneficial , maybe not as large a dollar amount as the previous attorney was going through steps to take on my behalf, yet this attorney will be on my behalf seeking what we are able through a slightly different court process. He has demanded jury and I believe the two complaints he provided on my behalf , one for termite company for bathroom into kitchen damages from old water damage, that is documented by state that the termite company was in violation of a code due to not identifying the fungi and wood rot of bath floor and old termite track. The letter was colluded with Seller as they were friends, so I am grateful that this wonderful attorney had a tenderness to see what he was able to do and has followed through. Second was the roofer complaint. I am optimistic these two complaints may settle before court and jury. The one complaint I did need to file was one for the Seller. I have done so and leaving that with judge and jury as well. I did through same magistrate court so I was told most of time this court not attorney for either party, that is not the rule but just the norm for this court . I am prepared speak the truth to Judge as this all proceeds.
    and TRUST in our Gloriious Father who is so Fatihful and Loving and who has so provided and is beginning open doors to the renewed house and self, I can just imagine the lightness I will feel when this is all behind me and healthful environment to just be and find where he leading me to serve. The greatest gift to me I believe overall that I seem to have become aware of recently is to “keep my focus not on earthly things but on Jesus”. I may be close to scripture written as this meaning has arrived in my heart and soul, and I will continue to love God so greatly and listen with obedience what he wants and do all I need to do to stay ever so faithful with my full focus always on Him. It really is the most beauitiful experience I have lived to date in my life. SO I do feel like Paul in that I am so very Grateful, for where God has led me, to you, to an incredible relationship with Jesus and to accept that even if seems like a challenge or disruption of sorts, it is not an inconvenience to remind myself and that God has another better idea and knows better than me so I will follow His lead. That is how I have been living moment to moment most consistently than ever in my life.
    I am going to be traveling again to visit my family. yes, God is leading me back to stay with mother now she is alone without my dad in house, I sensing God is working healing there if he so bringing me back there for a good 3 weeks come next month. I am preparing myself in ways we have connected in how to respond if necessary to not absorbing but putting the emotion of anger or whatever back onto the other person for a mirror not a sponge. I am reading the Bible more and more and I have even began to recite Scripture in some situations and sharing Gods word. Why are people so afraid? I realized when I came to meet you, I was afraid to meet and rely completely on Jesus Christ, and as He enveloped me through your connection with me, and it did exactly strengthen and encourage and inspire me and allowed me to see who He is and so Great at that in His work.
    I look forward this weekend reading your recent blog. I love your quotes posted. I look forward reading this recent blog post.
    I am thinking of you and have you always in my daily sometimes two times daily prayer kept you , Jon and your family in heartfelt thoughts with my dialogue of prayer with God in the name of Jesus .
    With Love and Warmth of Big hug and One great Big incredibly beautiful invisable embrace I pray from Jesus today for you.
    Love Sand

    • Sand,
      I am so, so glad to connect with you here. I had to take some time away from work for a bit which is why you haven’t heard from me. I’m so sorry to have missed your notes but thrilled to be back in touch with you again.
      The news of this attorney and all he has accomplished is miraculous! Sand, you have endured, persevered, and more…now to hear that there are people helping you warms my heart so much. I’m so delighted to hear you will be free of this someday…at least I hope that is what the Lord has in store for you! Let’s continue to pray that the attorney, jury, judge, or any and all involved will step up and resolve this permanently! You have been through so much; I’m convinced God has carried you through it all. Yes, there is grief, sorrow, and disappointment when life continues to hit so hard; but since our hope is in heaven, we look to the one who promises to be faithful and trust in that.
      I’m interested to hear more about your mom and the family stuff pulling on your heart. God has a way of working ALL things together for a greater good than we could have imagined; no doubt He is continuing to be at work in your life and theirs. I’ve heard of many broken family relationships being mended after years of distance; my prayer is that this will be your experience as well. Just keep trusting in God’s leading and you will never be without hope. Thanks also for your prayers for my family. We’ve had some recent struggles with our health and other issues; your prayers mean so much to me. Thank you.
      Do let me know what happens with the home and I’ll look forward to connecting again when you have time. Bless you sweet friend! Colleen

  • Sand,
    This is an amazing note! You are coming out of such a long, dark season of pain and grief; I can hear and almost see you shinning with a brilliant smile through your words here. I am overjoyed, delighted, happy, sincerely elated that you have come through so strong. The enemy has worked so incredibly hard to destroy you and you have not faltered or given in…you have endured. You have persevered through some of the most difficult and traumatic events and are seeing the joy that comes from Christ, our beloved heavenly Father, who promises to provide abundantly more than we could ask or imagine. Most of us want the abundance before we go through the fires of life but it doesn’t work that way. We must endure the fiery ordeals in order to find Christ standing with us through it all. And, often we feel Christ is anywhere but near to us during our difficult seasons of pain. However, as the ashes settle, the clouds lift, we find He was never far away. This is wonderful news about helping with a prayer line. Nothing in this life is of greater value to the Christian than prayer. This direct contact with Christ provides more strength-supernatural strength-we need to move through this life.
    Thank you as well for all the love you pour into each and every note. I feel warm arms of love and care wrap around my heart when I hear from you. Thank you so very much.
    Please let me know what happens with the seller and the attorney. I think I told you we had our home tested for mold. I was really sick in April and the pulmonologist said it would be a good idea. Thankfully we were clear of it but there may be further tests needed. I thought of you often as I laid there feeling awful, hard to breathe, and not knowing what was the cause. So thankfully, it’s not mold-may be something else but not that.
    You are a treasure my friend. Have a lovely day, Colleen

    • So

      Hello Colleen, I have been filled with anticipation to get home to be able to sit down today and read your notes that I saw waiting for me for the last 24 hours, being distracted these 24 hours with a mix of things happening by me. First I am sorry that you are having symptoms that of which have been like mold, or environmental or allergy. I am actually so glad that you were so open to share with me so that I can include this in my prayer that God and that He will lead you to what it is whether hidden in soil around house, or environmental within house or whatever it is. It has been a long term issue for me as you are aware. I did post a gofundme page for the mold alone, and the attorney is working for some of the repairs which are to be completed only after mold remediation. I do have just received some exciting news last nite that the termite company attorney called my attorney to want the termite co claim adjuster to come out to my house,which is tomorrow am. In the meantime my intention has been preparing myself to leave my house a bit to go to my mom as she had surgery yesterday after being in the hospital a week with all kinds of tests for prep of surgery. It is only God’s work by exactly as you say the power of Christian prayer, as my mom I am told is doing well and home today already, the large area of tumor and margin of tissue was removed and all clear from her inner thigh,and calling it as of now I believe waiting on final biopsy,but it is not breast cancer metastasized but basal cell carcinoma,which is only God miracle that it was as I prayed and asked for prayer that delivered this to be non invasive to leg and organs and not the breast cancer having returned again.
      I will head up to help my mom staying with her for a few weeks in her recovery and God seems to want me to do this, letting past be past yet conscious of my not being as vulnerable as you mentioned in your most beautiful note sharing how things are not always the end picture of all is good with each soul. Exactly why I love you so much! So real and true and to read your notes gives me great inspiration to keep all going always.I am leaving Friday and stay overnite at a hotel a little more than half of the 12-13 hr drive to arrive and stay with my mom arriving Saturday next half of trip completed.
      I am sorry I have just become aware of some other great posts that somehow I had not seen prior, I will need go back and read even the one of PTSD and feeling invisable. How many times have I felt that in the road that I have traveled and we have spoken of this as was probably one of the most difficult moments in my journey that you have walked with me was to feel invisable, like how can that be? I would not understand.
      I am grateful with my ever so long thoughts I pour out from my heart and soul on your blog, that you have responded so gracefully and beautifully of me, and cheering me all the way. You have been unwaivering in your receiving me and care of me, and being so genuinely thrilled for me, I have begun to truly recognize some of the changes taking place within me and of me that I can share in some of the excitement of my growth and things beginning to flow for me of His goodness, finally. A season I sit and cry especially the day my house will be restored and no more mold. WOw what a day that will be, and I will never forget what I have endured ,and beyond with all that I have at every level emotionally been challenged. I am happy that we have connected.
      I am concerned for you with whatever this is, and will be praying for the answer to come for you will know. There is nothing to me worse than knowing in your gut something is not right and feeling the symptoms but not yet any medical awareness. It is like when I went to the Mayo Clinic, the symptoms of liver and digestion etc, were not the organs driving the symptoms, it was allergy to mold, dr called it allergy/immunology or rheumatoid dr if symptoms returned, but she flat out told me she cannot write this down because there is too much not known medically about mold and its effects, so to document all from mold cannot truly do, but to say it ,she includes there is a lot we still do not know. So I am going to be praying, I promise for you with this..
      I have so much to share of excitement that so much opening for me. I truly believe it is related to the forgiveness occurring from time my dad died to so much happening with siblings,and my daily dialogue with Jesus in Christian mediation worship and prayer every day. I have been seeking ways that sensing ready for, put my watercolor painting and some other items on Mercari.com, and I joined my first meetup group called Biblical Journaling, it is a Scripture coloring book fellowship meetup! I will go when return. I also began the six month trauma counseling today which will be including my counseling ,a support group by the counselor and hoola hoop alternative movement for centering and bringing you into your own space, accupunturist and massage therapist that teach individuals pressure points and self massage techniques, art therapy, music therapy, yoga for all traumas, and all to have us take part as chose and designed so that it will bring up issues related to traumas and then be able to have counseling along side of these alternative therapies, but counseling separate than activities involved, it is set up this way so we go to activities, support group and then with what is stimulated we bring to counseling so these all as programs go hand in hand for greater healing of issues still that may not be healed and a great way to have “modalities” to bring it to surface and have counseling set up to work through. Oh and pet therapy in counseling is available. Colleen this is all free service no guidelines other than having had sexual trauma , it is all by a Grant and what a program to be offered.
      Thank you Colleen for the most beautiful thoughts, and how you perceive me is honestly truth of who I am, I send you great big invisable hugs of gratitude daily in my prayer meditation asking our Lord to do just that so you know you are doing His will and shining goodness you do . I am delighted to be connected with you, and yes I treasure you also as a very dear and lifetime friend in my heart and soul ,as I have shared because it is true.
      Keep me informed of any testing and I will pray for whatever it is .
      I know that the prayer and help line through His Radio, is another ministry that has trained me and doing back ground and reference check. I did put you down as a reference, I do apologize for not asking first or making you aware until now. They wanted a Pastor as reference and because I do not have a Church currently (Although my hair colorist and owner of salon invited me tomorrow nite to her Church for a ladies nite dinner and a speaker will be there—-just this last weekend I prayed for a Church family to be like this training as prayer minister has taught me that I am a stick in the dirt without a Church family,and to have a caring Church family I can have support of a fence) so I have only known to come to your blog as my Ministry and your Dad online and all that Insight for LIving offers, which has fulfilled me for a length of time and I have felt this has been my fence. I also have become more close to my friend from teenage years, and we pray on the telephone all the time for each other even when off phone, and have called each other a sisterhood powerhouse of prayer…lol. we live 12-13 hours apart and after twenty years not connected, my not having been Christian , now we have been able to share like we never left off but yet a depth of true love of Jesus and sharing scripture and all Gods goodness continuously ,which has been a wonderful and fulfilling heartfelt connection of friendship for me too.
      I know there is more as doors are opening, my goal with the counseling is to really now work on functioning and strengthening to level I trust I can get around the triggers with greatest of ease and know this program is going to train me further that it will allow me to grow that much further which is amazing for me as I have always been so determined to heal,and it is beginning to notice my stepping out more and more, like you said “coming out of such a long dark season of pain and grief” that which I only knew for almost a lifetime, and still shocked myself that it truly is going to be okay, and now with Jesus no matter what it is always ok,and understanding that the challenges are not to run and hide from but more often the places we need to put ourselves for the greater healing is there, like forgiveness, and going to be around my family, where like counselor said today to me, they are now without my dad,and if anyone pattern was to place any emotion of anger etc on him when alive, they do not know what to do with their feelings /emotions of any kind, and anger and a sister is and has been in past a easy target, but with my changing and not ok with this can trigger further siblings to say ok that is not how I anticipated her to react from past patterns, but now each would have feelings that they have never felt or understand,and will see a change in me almost demands a different pattern. It is not how she said it to me but I know wholeheartedly you understand and have greater insight than I do .
      Thank you so much Colleen so much for connecting with me and sharing so much , even of what you said relationships like you and your daughter , or anyone really takes a vulnerablitily and sense of safety.I love that you listened so well and it only could happen because you both were open and honest/vulnerable and created the safety for each other.That is my very favorite part of your sharing this part of you and your daughter journey, remarkable love and falling asleep by fire even without words is the most beautiful part of healing together.
      I have always felt and know I am safe here on your blog and learning to be more open to this to help me grow in other relations. I am so happy about the counseling that is going to open up more growth in this area.
      I will let you know more…oh also my middle sister and I have continued to stay connected and have shared some beautiful God given experiences and discussion of how Great God is and how it is only He who created a non invasive truly bizarre cancer that does not fit my mother really as she has never been too much in sun and in inner thigh, it is obviously one of those miracles of God how my mom home tonite after surgery yesterday. Miracle! of God truly. ANd my sister and I have really connected on our Lord and it is a beautiful experience to be able to share with her His goodness and grace and also be able share how I let go fear to Trust in our Lord and how I can share when she has been aware that is how she may have reacted to something, I have been able to be open with her and bringing us to a new level of closeness.
      With Love and care,
      I will bring you an update with my travels coming and how God will work in my life to create a new Life as He designed for me to be and become.
      Love, Sand

      • Sand,
        This note fills my heart with so much joy you cannot imagine! Thank you for sharing your continuing story with me! You are incredible! I have to say I whole heartedly agree with your thoughts on forgiveness! When we do let go of the internal hurt or anger, it’s so honoring to the Lord. You are saying to Him, “Lord, I trust you to take care of this and to continually provide healing and comfort”…it’s the ultimate surrender and changes everything. I bet your health will be better and your thoughts clearer….just “open doors” as you said. I’m just thrilled for you sweet friend. I see there are a couple more notes so I’ll keep this short but know I love and care for you and your continued progress! Have a lovely day! Colleen

        • So

          Thank YOU Colleen for being so very Thrilled for me and for your remarkable insight into the greatest part of my life yet! all not lifted up yet with house and health completely, but this is the greatest change ever to know and deepening my relationship with Jesus and how God works.
          Thank you for your insight with great care of me.
          Love and care,
          Sand

          • Sand,
            You have been and continue to be an inspiration to me and all those who read this post. Your life of choosing to endure, face hard things realistically, to step out in total faith has meant more than you can know to me and I’m confident, many others. Keep up the remarkable attitude my friend. You are amazing. Colleen