• Leesa

    Hello Colleen,
    It is Sunday and I became a member of my Church today.I received so many hugs and welcomes from those members after the morning service. So much more confident I am, knowing how our Lord works and worked in this instance again through someone I know to have had an extra ticket a few months back and to have me placed just at that moment near ,that I was asked if I wanted to join in a Church event where there was this extra ticket to attend. Since that time we both have agreed it was God’s work to have had me be the one to receive this extra ticket with friend, and to hear the testimony of another member who spoke that evening. the days leading up to my membership have been insightful and a depth I had not had elsewhere, a genuine sense of love woven throughout, not a sense otherwise. We are all sinners but this Church those around me seem to be truly sensitive to each other in loving kindness that is genuine care and concern and wanting ,or having that real and true desire to be all for our Lord Christ Jesus, and for His word to follow in action because we all believe passionately. I am going to be baptized next. I accepted the Pastor invitation to do so, as I feel so very excited about this and want to even be cleaner of any sin I can reflect on before doing so for the next chapter of my life will be the next step of action of my committement. .
    Colleen, you have known me for some time now. With my new wisdom of The sermons of the 7 deadly SIns, one each week being discussed with multiple verses of scripture being read connecting many different ways the same thing was described throughout the bible, I have been further enlightened and have something to share that I have self reflected on with this new wisdom coming to me.

    Well this one sin today was Gluttony or gluttonous. I am dumbfounded how I could not have ever seen all these deadly sins so clearly as these present days. I realized that I need to ask our Lord for great forgiveness, wanting for the three years of greatest hardship ,to have justified increased debt from after my purchase of this house and the whirlwind of the many areas that seemingly collapsed around me, or at least not knowing our Lord as I have come to TRUST and Have come to my complete FAITH , a year ago I wasn’t there yet, two years ago I would unravel with anxiety as you are so well aware, and my health from mold exposure to grief and anxiety and unhealthful relations ,family issues, not yet knowing my forgiveness was to set me free but the debts in meantime had accrued on credit from multiple visits of many different types holistic care and supplements and keeping the cleanest foods to eat, all of which are now like damages to me.

    I began to believe today that I need to ask our Lord forgiveness for some form of gluttony? and self indulgence? because I did not at the time have the TRUST established, that foundation that you always speak of, it was not set yet, so from a perfectly well financial status from just before and as I purchased house to what came as an unraveling and insecurities, I have truly blamed on PTSD triggering major areas for me and yes maybe a lot of these holistic care tags helped me, but just what if I had the foundation going into the house situation with family issues and mold exposure, would I have had the foundation necessary rather than keep spinning “out of control” spending what did show to help me and keep me going but would I have been without these costs having had the Faith and Trust . maybe I would have not been stuck without forgiveness taking so long, and these other issues would have not escalated in border line health?

    I do not want to seem like going back rewrite because I do have complete TRUST and Faith that God did have this all planned to do exactly what Only God can provide in what He provided in His Molding of Me, / I do want to ask our Lord for His forgiveness if I have acted in any of these ways with especially my debts having been out of control, and what is it He wants of me now that I have this wisdom and that I do have a new foundation building up to His word bringing me greater awarenesses, I wish to ask Him now that I have this new wisdom, I want to ask Him how to consolidate those debts and how to get me on the pathway I started when purchased this house, but even a greater new roadway from all the work I have done and all the changes that are bringing me to a more stable place of living than ever before, and with my new foundation in present, how to clean up and be forgiven in this area.

    I was ashamed to share this with anyone, and maybe God too, but now I bring to our Lord knowingly that it could have been a sin, . I feel so comfortable saying to you too now that I have accepted this new wisdom and in self refleciton and bringing to our Lord, now bringing it outward on your blog for the very reason that I am willing to change for our Lord and put it all out there for Christ Jesus and where I know I can put my heart .

    The reason I write with connection to this very wise quote of yours, is I agree only God can provide what He does provide, and in the sense of my situation, Only God can provide all that has transpired for me in the ways that He did because He is God and He knew the sequence of events He created to get my attention, keeping me mostly isolated to be just with Him ,to hear HIm, to learn how to dialogue with HIm, to Listen and TRUST in Him, etc, and how I would change. Only He could have done all this, and if the lesson was because I was excessive in what I wanted, I am not sure in most areas that would not be me? I never saw myself as greedy,but maybe my expectations were too high?and not that I purchased luxury items , I literally have no living room or bedroom furniture, or guest room furntiture so the area of spending was all for what I believed as His temple mind body and spirit healthfulness.maybe my expectations were excessive? in other ways that had to do with pride, desiring or expecting things to be new and as if when I was married having luxury place to live to buy, when I learned all was removed and there was no luxury is why I thought maybe there was some link here?

    THis quote speaks to me more ways than what I believe you were saying, overall my lesson is that He can provide our every need, and provide in ways we may not know we need but to change it is only He to know us and do so ,and that He does not change ever , it is us that change to His ways, ways to glorify once we have this wisdom of what it means to believe and want to please Christ Jesus fully, body mind and spirit, fullest summission.

    I am grateful tonite for this wisdom, opening me up to more healing and forgiveness that will please our Lord. and bring me as a whole more sound in my foundation with the Lord moving forward. to my greatest committement in my life , all of me and what I do for Him and His word.

    WIth love and care,
    Lee.