When I’ve been at my weakest not my strongest–is when Jesus Christ has transformed my soul and given me freedom and rest regardless of life’s circumstances (1 Corinthians 1:27).

  • Leesa

    Hello Colleen, no more perfect is this to open to today. I pray for those that are of the world who are stubborn, without tender heart of flesh and resistant to truth of Christ, who are held captive by life circumstances and cannot see beyond this truth, or at least not yet. I say this because there are many suffering, and where I have come from through my journey sheds more and more light as to how God wants to use me for hope and encouragement as He offers me greater growth of how to do this.
    My apple cart has been thrown over for all I have come to know and it all for a greater purpose, by God hand, that all that I have taken to you with some friends that I believed or gathered I was to steer away from are now part of discussion in my mission classes where life I am learning is messy where we will be used by God ,and to be able reach others not to steer away, Jesus did not always spend his time with his disciples, he spent much of his time with those that were sinners. I understand that we are all are sinners, yet those who are still living in action a life of sin without any true understanding and acceptance of Jesus Christ, we are I am learning to be right there in gentle and respectful way , to love. My Pastor and I spoke last evening for a bit, and he spoke to me from a Pastor and teaching background . we talked about how to take small steps and whether I was then feeling drawn down, and at end he offered me to take look at the first part of scripture for love, Love is Patient. He said that the outreach class and apologetics will answer much of my other concerns that I have had regarding my boundaries, and he claims that as I build “confidence “I will no longer have these questions, that it will come to me what to do in these situations. My apple cart upturned for the reason that I know I am exactly where God wants me, yet I realize wow, I wonder if He placed all these people before me for how I would react, if I missed any opportunity to truly love by speaking His truth more gently and by my actions. I realize with my family a result is showing with little changes I mentioned, but are really very big changes , yet we are not to be result driven, and where else is God using me. The author you had recommended a long while back has mention of apologetics also, and what I will meditate on is 1 Peter 3:15-16 that which I am recognizing to keep any emotion out of any understanding of scripture and that I see in others the emotion and without full clear conscience is a new awareness I processing. The woman friend I mentioned I can see this scripture applying to where she is in her life right now, without clear conscience and loosing site of the hope and rejecting any encouragement as she cares for her elderly mom and potential her mom passing soon and that life of caregiving ending for her and with needing build her own life, I see with that a lot of emotional growth and maturity will come with that change. For now we are not aligned with the truth of scripture and the faith and trust at forefront, and with this new learning curve of my own I reached back out to her to simply show love. She sounds angry at her situation, and It is my goal to master confidence and know that God has a mission for me, not to fix those others but to show hope through scripture and my learning questioning of meek control /apologetics that can only offer another greater insight and possibly hope and encouragement, my greatest goal is to master this, so I do not become defensive and take on the emotional aspect that I have had known to do. I know that God is not placing me in all these areas but for His glory in molding me exactly how He wants me to be.
    Also I have been delving into scripture reading from page one forward and have found biblehub to offer all online for me, and just loving reading context and meaning of words, the Strong insight is on same site, so no need all different books but as I read each verse I examine and read its true meaning , it so exciting for me. and my new journey.
    THank youfor listening, and with patience always.
    Have a great day,
    Leesa

    • Leesa,
      I’m sorry I missed this note in my email…and I plan to write re: the other things you have sent. I do want to say you are right on…our ‘apple carts’ do get tossed about as we grow. All of us have places we run into and find confusion at first, or disappointment or whatever; only to walk through and see Christ’s hand in it all. Being in community with others can be made difficult if we believe everyone should be one certain way. But, in the body of Christ just like in life itself, every person is different and will express their ways of life differently. Sometimes we are comfortable with that, other times, we must ask ourselves why we may be uncomfortable. Just as you and I want the freedom to be who we are, it’s important to give other’s that same freedom. Because you are tender hearted, it may be hard at first but you will grow in confidence and inner strength as you solidify your beliefs. You are on such a great track, stay the course and let’s see where God leads. Blessings. Colleen

      • Leesa

        Thank you Colleen
        I think it just another growth that in big picture going take me a leap forward. I just feel it as I cry tonite for whatever it is I am releasing , an old part of me and knowing it will all make sense again tomorrow
        I know someday God will send me someone more mutual to who I am and it will be wonderful to share .
        Thank you as always for one of my biggest cheer leaders of all time
        I had the art therapy tonite first nite and I could not speak about myself , maybe next week , just generally who we are ,
        All is going to be moving faster now. I just feel it. My prayer is still to not resist and to not expect simply to be stronger to give more of myself Yes to let’s see where our glorious and most faithful Lord is leading
        Goodnite Colleen.
        Leesa

        • Leesa,
          I just read this and thought as you move forward, there will be tears in the process. All of life is a letting go process; releasing our lives to Jesus care is an unfolding thing…each layer of life pain that we release is another step closer to having our identity in Christ. And, the therapeutic process will bring up stuff, out emotions shift as we grow. Stay at it friend!
          Colleen