• Electro Kitty

    That’s good because that is where I am. No one gives a crap about me. I could disappear and I think the only person who would miss me is my kid. I have always felt invisible and I do even more now. F the world. The church sucks, they are all talk and no do.

    • Electro Kitty,
      I wish words weren’t the only way I could respond because I would just hold you and let you cry and weep. I’m so sorry that you have faced many losses in such a short period of time. I cannot imagine, but I hear you and see you. There isn’t anything you said that I’ve not said to the Lord in these many years of life. You are hitting the reality of this world, churched or not. Human beings are desperately fallen and the capacity to hurt others is beyond vast. I’m so sorry for what has happened, been said, caused you pain. I have to go to God’s word when I am disillusioned by this world. In it I find that David-promised to be King-was hunted for over 10 years while living in dusty, hard caves and running alone for his life. Joseph who was thoroughly forgotten being sold by his brothers, wrongly accused, then forgotten by the cupbearer and spent 2 more years in prison. Hannah who didn’t bare children and in her deepest grief was accused of being drunk by the priest (that’s one heck of a ‘church’ story). Hosea commanded to stay married to an unfaithful woman. Saul/Paul, who spent 3 years in a place scripture never records completely invisible and stripped of his reputation. God is where we go to remember our stories are not fully complete…scripture offers the only hope in remembering that when you are in great suffering. There is truth in His word; there is pain in this world, there is an ebb and flow without emotions…we must reckon with all parts…gut through it. Feelings can be overpowering; they can also be empowering. By speaking the truth to your Father in heaven, you are planting seeds of faith into your soul…deeper than you could have ever imagined. Until we wrestle with God and our faith, it’s a verbal faith….not an empowering, life-changing faith. For some, that wrestling is horrendously deep; if you choose to cling to God alone, your faith will eventually be horrendously great. I’m honored that you wrote; I care deeply for you, and you are not INVISIBLE. You are the only one to fill your child with hope…you are necessary and have a purpose only God knows of now. Hang in there, breathe, just do the next right thing and think of nothing beyond. You are incredible. Colleen